15 Sure Signs Of An Unhealthy Relationship

Are you feeling concerned that your current relationship may be unhealthy? Here are 15 solid signs to watch out for which can help guide you.

By Emmanuel Onitayo
15 Sure Signs Of An Unhealthy Relationship

Signs Of An Unhealthy Relationship: Introduction

One good thing about being in a relationship is that if you are informed and have enough self-will, you can always back off if you notice it has become unhealthy. It is not like what is obtainable in a marriage where leaving may be quite difficult due to commitments. In a relationship that is unhealthy, there are some warning signs you would begin to see telling you to either make an adjustment or stay away from it completely. Some of these signs can be so subtle that you may not even notice them especially if you're not having a 'tough time' with your partner as such. This is so because unhealthy relationships are not always loveless. In most cases, they are filled with good memories you'll always want to remember and long after. An unhealthy relationship may not also be violent as you may be expecting. One partner may have learned the art of manipulation to get an advantage over the other. They ride on your naivety or weakness to exploit you while you continue to serve their purpose with the thought that you're in a relationship with them. It is for this reason that you need to digest this article so as to know the signs to watch out for that would help affirm whether your relationship is healthy or not. Here are 15 of such signs.

1. Your Relationship Is Unhealthy If Your Partner Seeks To Always Dominate

A healthy relationship is not supposed to be like a military setting where orders are issued and expected to be obeyed come what may. You're not to always bury your thoughts and ideas because you want to accommodate those of your partner. As it is, in a healthy relationship, submission is usually mutual and partners encourage each other to be themselves rather than one person wanting to suppress the other. So, have you been noticing that your partner is always trying to be prominent in your relationship? It may be a warning sign for you to take heed of. As earlier stated, this may not mean that they're not showing love or that you're always fighting. You may not be experiencing any of these but you'll just see that in every matter and discussion, they always act like only their feelings, words, and opinions are worth considering.

2. You Guys Trade Blames

There is no relationship without a challenge of its own. However, what distinguishes a healthy relationship from an unhealthy one is the manner in which issues are handled. When your relationship is unhealthy, you would more than often find your partner (or even yourself) trading blames instead of taking responsibility for what may have happened. Your partner will always make you feel like you're the one responsible for everything not going well with you both. Where you even express dissatisfaction based on what you've been experiencing, they'll make you feel that you're the one being too expectant or clingy. It's always you that is not getting things right. Once you keep noticing this kind of thing, it's a warning sign that your relationship is unhealthy.

3. Partner Feel They Need You To Survive

An unhealthy relationship would make one partner feel that they're an extension of the other instead of a unique and intelligent being that they really are. What this means is that your significant other feels that without you physically being with them, they cannot make a decision that is right. To this extent, you'll see them always clinging on to you or demand that you always cling to them for them to be able to carry on. This is plainly a show of lack of self-worth and there's no way a relationship or even marriage can be healthy that way where a partner has lost their self-esteem. This kind of relationship will be one-sided and the partner with no self-worth will often feel offended when there's actually no need to be. They can turn out to be very clingy too because they want to be with you so you can make every decision for them.

4. It's Unhealthy When Your Partner Wants You To Mirror Them

Is your partner trying to convince you into accepting their own set of ideas and ideals without caring about yours? You've got to watch it. No relationship can proceed faultlessly where partners possess the same idea about everything. It is our differences that often bring flavors to our relationships and even life in general. That aside, you would find yourself living a life that is not yours and that would make you feel inferior and limited. Everyone deserves to pursue what gives them some level of joy and self-fulfillment and not to live out a life dictated to them by someone else. Even in a friendly relationship, a friend should not see his other friend as a project to fix but mutual partners that help each other in their times of weakness.

5. Among The Signs Of An Unhealthy Relationship Is Incessant Anger

Only healthy partners make a healthy relationship. "Healthy", in this sense, of course, does not mean freedom from an ailment. It's a reference to a balanced state of mind as revealed mostly by our temperament and comportment. Where your partner gets angry at almost everything without a reason, you have every reason to be careful. That creates danger, especially if you have plans to get married to them. It’s a difficult thing to live with a hot-tempered person. You'll have to live your life appeasing a god-partner. And again, you have to keep praying they don't get out of their minds one day and then injure you. Untamed anger is a sign of character weakness and not a good element of a healthy relationship.

6. Abuse In Whatever Form Is Among The Signs Your Relationship Is Unhealthy

Abuse in a relationship can be physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, or even psychological. Any of these is bad and if you have a partner that enjoys inflicting them upon you, should you be told before accepting that you're in a bad relationship? Verbal abuse can particularly be more demeaning. The injury is usually internal and perhaps the severest. Friendship with an abuser is bad enough let alone being in a relationship with one. Your life is not secured and you're not probably going to be able to achieve your life's goals. An abusive partner would not mind addressing you any way and can even talk you down in public. They can be sexually aggressive, causing you eventually to detest sex. In some cases where the abuse is physical, you may have a lot of scars on your body all in the name of being in a relationship. If they don’t abuse you but instead are into substance abuse, you have reasons to worry too. The misuse of drugs or addiction to certain substances is among the signs of emotional disorder in a human being and that puts the abuser at a disadvantage when it comes to leading a healthy relationship. They may want to but those things would always make them behave contrary to their normal self.

7. It's Unhealthy If They Won't Support Your Goals

Of what use is being in a relationship with someone if your life goal would be sidelined by them? Your goals to a large extent define you and what you stand for. So, it's really bad if the person you so much care about takes your life ambition with levity. It doesn't portray a partner that would care for you in the face of challenges nor does it gives an assurance of a healthy partnership either. If you decide to go forward in the relationship notwithstanding, you may find your career pitching you against your partner most often. You want to do something and they tell you "No way." Or in situations where you need their encouragements and advice, they remain indifferent. Not supporting your life's goal can be a sign of emotional insecurity which is the least of all things you want to experience in a relationship. This attitude can be corrected though but the partner involved must show enough sign to convince you not to worry otherwise you have no business being in a relationship with someone that doesn’t care what becomes of you in the future.

8. Among The Signs Is Bad Communication

If you're looking for a means to identify a healthy relationship, the level of communication is one thing to check for. Is your communication with your partner free, open, and honest? If the answer is "yes", then your relationship is pretty healthy to an extent. However, where you're afraid to tell your partner certain things because you're not sure how they would welcome it; that calls for caution. A bad communication flow is usually a warning that a partner may not be tolerant or open with you. It equally suggests that there may be some secrets they're trying to keep from you. All of these potent a serious problem especially if it's overlooked until marriage. As a woman, you don't want to spend your life with a man not willing to be open with you, or do you? Of course, that is true for you, the man too. Effective communication between partners ensures that intimacy grows and also closes the door against possible misunderstanding. And that's perhaps the reason many have suggested that relationships should begin with friendship. If your partner is your friend, you're not probably going to have issues communicating freely with them.

9. If It's Primarily Sexual, Then The Relationship Is Unhealthy

There's definitely more to being in a relationship than just having sex. Sex in any relationship is only a benefit and not the essence. Where a person's friendship with you is primarily because of what they'll get, will it not be wise to reconsider such a friendship? Same goes with a relationship. If they're in that relationship with you just for the sake of meeting their sexual needs, then it's not worth it. If you're a woman, you need to actually watch this. A man that only laughs and plays with you just when he wants sex will not make a "healthy" partner. It can be either way though, but men are particularly more prone to focusing primarily on sex than women. Where sex is the primary reason someone is in a relationship with you, you can be sure you're not going to be worth more than a sex tool for them. The mutual reasoning together, companionship, and support which a healthy relationship affords would not be there.

10. Absence Of Respect Is Among The Signs

This is one of the prime relationship killers. Showing respect is a sign that you recognize what I don't like and you refrain from it. It also means that you know that even though we're in a relationship together, there are still some individual boundaries which must be respected. So, in addition to the other signs which you may have been seeing, once you cannot see respect in the way your man or woman is handling or addressing you, it would be better for you to quit such a relationship because it is far from being healthy.

11. Emotional Insecurity Is Among The Signs Of An Unhealthy Relationship

How great is it for partners in a relationship to be emotionally secured! It sends every form of rivalry, competition, and unwarranted jealousy to the abyss. You don't see each other as a threat but a partner in love and progress. This is what being in a healthy relationship entails. Everyone knows that they're special and are not perturbed by the attention that the other person may be gaining. So, if you have a partner manifesting signs of emotional insecurity, it's a warning to you that your relationship may be unhealthy. You may have to seek help or walk away. It may not be bad for them to feel jealous a bit when they see you with a potential threat but where the jealousy becomes unhealthy is when it is unfounded and incessant. For a healthy relationship, partners must first have to accept and love themselves so they don't get disturbed and jittery by what the other person does or achieves. They'll believe there's nothing they too cannot achieve and that way, they can get rid of unnecessary suspicion from them.

12. It's Bad If They Don't Forgive

In fact, you should be wary of an unforgiving partner. It's a risky thing to be in a relationship with such a person. How do you hope to do it that you won't occasionally step on each other's toes? And when this happens, shouldn't the normal thing be them forgiving you when you have apologized? After all, that's how relationships grow. But it's bad when they feel that every offense must be met with punishment; it's not healthy either when they feel they must always take their pounds of the flesh each time there's an issue between you both. It would only elongate crises in your relationship and that is not a good one as such.

13. Another Sign Of An Unhealthy Relationship Is Dishonesty

Simply put, your partner tells lies about everything. They give you a false impression of who they are perhaps so as to win your respect. It may even be that they find it hard to reveal their possibly ugly past. Whatever be the case, you'll know a dishonest man or woman by their words and action. They say the opposite of what they mean and do the opposite of what they say. You cannot trust them with your money or information without them betraying your trust. The best action to take here is to walk away from the relationship. It's not only unhealthy but equally dangerous.

14. Little Or No Physical Affection Is Among The Signs To Watch For

It is only normal for partners in one relationship or the other, be it marriage or friendship to want to connect with each other on a physical level. It can be through hugs, kisses, pecks, or even the holding of hands. Experts assert that these acts of physical affection sort of bind partners together and help them give and receive love at a higher level than just a verbal expression of their love for each other. Therefore, if you have noticed that your relationship lacks all of these acts of physical affection, it may be a warning sign that it is unhealthy. If they love and are proud of you, should they be shy to demonstrate it?

15. They're Reckless In Their Spending

Our attitude to money tells a lot about us. A person who spends anyhow without thinking of the future would probably not make a good partner and by inference, a healthy relationship. If they cannot manage their money well, how sure are you that they can manage you as well? You see, it's not by accident that a person spends his or her money anyhow; most times, it's a reflection of who they are. When a man or woman works hard to get money and later on spend it in a manner that sees them begging the next day, you should pay close attention to that. If you're in such a relationship, it's a big warning that you shouldn't ignore.

On A Final Note

It takes healthy partners to make a healthy relationship. But just as it is in the physical that not all unhealthy individuals develop visible signs, so also is it in a relationship or marriage. There may be little or no physical thing to hold on to where an unhealthy relationship is what you're into. Therefore, you need to pay attention to these 15 signs discussed. They're the red flags that once seen in a relationship or marriage, portray and potent danger. It would be wise if you heed the warning and do something about it.