Who is My Boyfriend Texting and How to Talk to Him about It?

It is always better to ask him than just assume things.

By Madiha A.
Who is My Boyfriend Texting and How to Talk to Him about It?

How can I see who my boyfriend is texting?

The relationships are built on the foundations of honesty, loyalty, and trust. Any relationship without these three factors is unreal and shallow. Most of the relationships that end have one thing in common; cheating. When one of the partners starts cheating, they unknowingly start leaving hints here and there. They are so engrossed in strengthening their newer bond that they don’t realize that their partner is getting clues and is worried. If you have been seeing changes in your boyfriend’s behavior and routine, there may or may not be anything serious. He might be worried about work, studies, health, or any other thing. However, if there is another woman in the picture, he might behave oddly. There are several signs if your partner is cheating on you and you may notice a visible behavioral change. One of the first signs is noticing him fiddling with his phone more than he usually does.

There are a few signs if your boyfriend is texting another girl that you should look out for:

  • He is very protective with his phone and wouldn’t leave it lying here and there
  • He is texting someone even if you are having an important conversation
  • If he is using his phone throughout the night and sneaks out more often at night
  • He gets nervous if you ask questions about who he was talking to 
  • He has made his phone password protected

Most men use phones for checking emails, messages, watching videos, and playing games but women in their lives know their routines. There is no hiding since there is nothing wrong but if your boyfriend has recently put a password on it, your suspicion may be right. He might be texting another woman and doesn’t want you to know about it. So, how can you see who your boyfriend is texting? It may be unethical to look into someone’s phone but here are a few ways to find out if you are suspicious and want to clear your doubts:
  • Try to look through his phone while he is in the shower (if there is no password)
  • Try asking his close friends without making them suspicious
  • Try using spying soft wares but this is a huge invasion of privacy and your relationship wouldn’t be the same if he comes to know about it.

Should I be worried if he is texting another girl?

Finding your boyfriend texting more than usual is alarming. Your girl instinct cannot be wrong if it tells you he is texting a girl. Girls always fear the presence of another girl in their boyfriend’s life. If you are worried your boyfriend is in contact with a girl, your fears are genuine. However, all that glitter is not gold, and not every girl can be romantically involved with your boyfriend. It can be a class fellow who needs help with her homework or a girl friend who needs relationship advice. To be sure and clear your doubts you can always ask your boyfriend in the face. If he isn’t guilty, he will surely tell you about the conversations he is having with this girl. If he is keeping it a secret and doesn’t want you to know about it, it is worrisome. 

Is texting another girl considered cheating?  

Getting in contact with another person while you are still in a relationship is considered cheating. No matter how platonic it may sound or look on the outside, a girl and boy can never remain just friends. It may start off casual but it will surely turn into a romantic relationship over time. Cheating does not require physical intimacy or a sexual relationship. If the time he should be spending with you is spent somewhere else, you must feel betrayed. Feeling cheated or betrayed has a negative impact on the relationship. If his texting makes you uncomfortable, you must talk to your boyfriend about it and resolve the issue.

How do I talk to my boyfriend about him texting another girl? 

The conversation is the key to resolving issues. If you think your boyfriend is texting another girl which is making you uncomfortable, you need to talk to him in the face. Not talking about the issue only makes it more complicated. Here are a few ways to talk to your boyfriend without igniting the issue 

  • Talk to him calmly and peacefully. There is no need to get super angry as it will only worsen the situation. Since he is already drifting away, the fight will only give him an excuse to break away.
  • Wait for an appropriate time to talk. This conversation should not be done in haste. You can wait till the weekend when you both are free and there are no scheduled meetings. Start talking casually and then bring up the topic of who he is texting and what are the reasons behind him finding someone else to talk to. Assure him that you two are still connected at an emotional level and can make things work.  
  • Share your feelings and insecurities with him and tell him how important he is to you. Tell him that you feel betrayed and how much it hurts. Make him remember the time you two started dating and how you felt in each other’s presence. Tell him that this is just a phase in his life and he can still come back to you.
  • If you fear his temper, you can always take the help of a close friend. Talk to his friend or invite him over and request him to start the conversation about his recent fling. You can join the conversation casually and take things from there.
  • Considering your own mental wellbeing, do not get into this talk abruptly. Start leaving him hints before starting the actual conversation. This will help both of you get ready for THE talk. If you take him by surprise, you might get disappointed by his behavior which can be very blunt and bitter. 

How do you maintain trust in a relationship?    

Trust is one of the pillars on which a relationship is built. Without trust, the relationship dies a natural death. You cannot expect to enjoy a happy and healthy relationship without having a trustworthy bonding. Trust goes both ways; while you should always trust your partner, you should expect the same in return. To maintain trust in a relationship, here are a few things you can do

  • Communicate what you are expecting from your partner when it comes to trusting each other. You should also understand the needs of your partner.
  • Do not take trust for granted. You have to earn trust and it can be done by staying honest. 
  • Always keep your promises. If you promised your partner make sure to fulfill it no matter how impossible it may seem. 
  • Another way to maintain trust is by keeping the secrets of your partner. If they confided in something, keep it to yourself until they decide to disclose it.
  • Give each other some personal space. If you think your partner is up to something, give them time to talk about it. Don’t start nagging them about a particular matter no matter how much it is making you uneasy or uncomfortable. 
  • Believe him. If he says something, even if it feels wrong at the moment, trust him. Give him an understanding that you have faith in him and you will always believe his word.
  • To maintain the trust you need to be on the same side of the line. Play along with each other, not against each other. Solve issues together and never allow anyone to take control of your life. 
  • Never lie to each other. To be truly happy in your life, always speak the truth no matter how much it may hurt.  

How do you make a relationship stronger?  

Any kind of one-on-one relationship can be made stronger through hard work. You cannot expect to get it stronger without putting in efforts. A romantic relationship may start impulsively but to make it work and transform it into a healthy long living relationship, you need to make certain changes in your life and behavior. Here are a few things you can do to make a relationship stronger:

  • Appreciation and acceptance is the key to a stronger relationship. Accept your partner’s flaws and appreciate their efforts.
  • Forget and forgive each other in all kinds of difficult life situations. 
  • In a relationship, become “we” and “us” not “you” and “me”. For a stronger relationship work as a team.
  • The relationship starts dying if life gets monotonous, so keep the novelty in the relationship alive.
  • Live more like friends than partners. It is easier to share your feelings and apprehensions with a friend and the friends often understand you better than any other person.
  • Stay connected on an emotional level. Surprise each other, exchange gifts, remember birthdays, and try to do something special for your partner. 
  • Give more and expect less is another key to a long living relationship. 
  • Share whatever is bothering you and try to resolve the issue before sleeping.
  • Be honest to your partner and yourself. 


When in a relationship, both the partners need space. They both are free to enjoy their time with friends and family. Each deserves to make new friends. However, the nature of friendship matters; is it a casual friendship or a romantic fling. If you think your boyfriend is texting someone and it is something he is trying to keep from you, something isn’t right. Instead of making guesses and stressing yourself, you should go and ask him in the face. If he isn’t honest and loyal, the relationship is bound to end.