9 Reasons Why a Dominant & Submissive is For You

Find out what is so alluring about power play that so many enjoy

By Fred S.
9 Reasons Why a Dominant & Submissive is For You

Reasons to Try Dominant and Submissive Sex

Let’s get one thing straight, you shouldn’t expect life-changing effects from a simple switch in your sexual endeavors. Having high expectations can ruin our reactions to stuff that’s exciting and new, but not as much as you were hoping for. To avoid this, I’d advise everyone to walk into it with your partner with a curious and open mind.

With that said, the world of BDSM (in safe and controlled boundaries) brings inspiring and transformational perks. If you’ve got a bit of a freak living inside yourself, and your partner is just as excited to try new things out, then why the hell not? Let’s look at 9 great reasons why you should let a bit of kink into your bedroom with the dominant/submissive (d/s) shtick. Let’s get into it!

1. It is said to give you a better understanding of yourself

Experienced D/S couples claim that incorporating dominance and submission roles into your sex life can teach you definitive things about yourself. Throughout the experimentation of many newbies, this idea gets confirmed by many as they find themselves enjoying things they never thought they could. What does it feel like to be tied up? What does it feel like to be dominated by someone you trust, with pure consent? What does it feel like to hurt someone who craves pain?

Using sexuality as a playground for deep self-exploration, it broadens our horizons and lets us experience things that we couldn’t ever otherwise. This applies to the emotions, thoughts, physical sensations, and even spirituality that can be experienced in some sessions. In this way, it’s said to make you more aware of your own mind, body, and spirit.   

2. It provides a chance to experiment with power

It’s a common stereotype about couples indulging in dominance and submission to take on roles according to their everyday social characters. Those who feel deprived of power or authority are thought to desire more control and dominance. On the other hand, individuals who are independent and take on more responsibility in their everyday lives, tend to submit more in bed.

This generally holds true in most dominance/submission cases and brings a whole new benefit into perspective. It allows people to test out new dynamics and feelings associated with them, and experience how it makes them feel. All of this happens with mutual consent, providing the best possible scenario to test out waters outside of their usual character.

3. It brings heightened states of consciousness

For a lot of people, this turns out to be the most enjoyable perk that comes with D/S. Practitioners are said to sometimes feel a clear transition into being more sensitive to pleasurable sensations and experiencing reality with heightened senses. Understandably, it’s hard to put this into words, but it’s yet another reason to try it out for yourself. People explain it as a dreamy, warm feeling of slowly reaching euphoria.

When achieved in its final form, this perceived state of boosted pain tolerance, loss of inhibitions, and slight hallucination is called ‘subspace’. It’s produced over time with the help of a unique blend of biological chemicals that get released due to combinations of pain and pleasure. It’s said to be a deep level to achieve though, so you might have to spend some time trying to get there.

4. BDSM relieves stress and anxiety.

Life in the 21st century is extremely fast paced, and the pressures are only increasing by the day. We’re all super overworked and exposed to more information than ever, and it is borderline maddening. High healthcare costs, taxes, social media show off and low-key jealousy, and tons more. Enough already, right? Well, behind locked doors and drawn curtains, indulging in fully focused D/S sex with your life partner is seen as a great way to unplug from reality.

Shut out all the crap you couldn’t care less about, and cleanse your system with a deep session of D/S with your partner. Fall asleep together later, preferably to the sound of rain, and that’s peak relaxation. Create the scene of your own imagination with your partner - the world and its chaos can wait.

5. BDSM provides great tools for navigating the waters of consent.

Discussions about the rape culture and harassment in recent years have raised the issue of consent to the point where it has become a hot topic, and rightly so! It’s incredibly important, but can also be tricky to grasp as it entirely depends on how people feel.

Being raised, many of us were told not to discuss our sexuality or feelings about it openly. This causes many people to just wing it without clearly discussing their boundaries, and what exactly they’re comfortable with. Instead, moves are made in bed as a way to test whether the other person likes or dislikes them. This obviously isn’t always a good idea, as someone only tells you they’re uncomfortable with a certain action after it’s already happened.

When it comes to the sexual genre of dominance and submission though, communication is the foundation of everything that goes on. Literally, everything. The whole process is just not sustainable without talking about what’s about to go down. You can’t just blindfold, handcuff, or choke someone without a prior discussion about it. The phrase “Oh, I thought you’d enjoy it” doesn’t sit too well in these scenarios.

Hence, open and clear communication is an essential part of all BDSM activities. The consent is kept crystal clear at all times, with predefined safe words to stop even agreed upon things in the middle, just in case. This way, nobody ventures into unsafe territory, and the pact of consent remains intact. It’s an area where BDSM communities are way ahead of the vanilla world!

6. D/S intensifies intimacy between a couple

In long-term relationships where kink prevails, you’ll always be free to discuss and try new things in bed with your partner regularly. Nothing would be too weird or taboo to experience, as long as good communication, risk-taking desires, and trust is protected between partners.

These liberating aspects of relationships certainly bring two people closer, continually amplifying feelings of intimacy and trust. Soon, being able to read each other’s thoughts even becomes simple because you’re just that transparent with each other, that being on the same page seems effortless. Like, if they’re getting dirty thoughts, you wouldn’t be too far either. Experiencing such a level of closeness and clarity with each other can be addictive, and that’s why so many people recommend it!

7. It can boost sexual pleasure

Here’s the most predictable one out of the lot, and everyone expects to feel this when they step into the world of BDSM. It holds true for many reasons, but let’s focus on the main one for now: power exchange. Arousal isn’t just limited to physical triggers but also includes mental and emotional stimulation.

Now, being able to take on a dominant or a submissive role, and having an explicit license to be top or bottom in a predefined setting is a huge turn-on. Without constantly second-guessing how one should behave, dominate, or be dominated, the entire experience gets way more fluid and relaxing. The less you have to think about, the stronger the sexual connection gets, which has a direct impact on the pleasure you get out of it. Not to mention, sex is less boring with unique implications of it like dominance and submission.    

8. Dominance and submissive roles can skyrocket sensual pleasure

Some hardcore bondage enthusiasts report loving to be tied up because it makes them feel safe and vulnerable at the same time. The vulnerability comes from being restrained and unable to resist, while the feeling of safety comes from the trust they have in their partner. In such a state, every type of stimulation, ranging from touch to getting paddled, everything feels enhanced.  

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9. It can introduce you to super supportive communities

Trying out dominance and submission in the bedroom grants you into the ever-expanding community of BDSM. There, you and your partner will be able to find other couples who are new to all this just like yourselves, other experienced players, guides, or friends who are just as freaky as you!

Discussing your experiences and questions on a forum of people who know exactly what you’re talking about can be refreshing. Within respectful limits, it allows us to be the most genuine version of our kinky, open-minded personalities. It lets you chat about what you’re looking to try out next, what you love the most about it, and why you got into it without fear of judgment!

Related Article: How to Wear a Gag in the Bedroom for a Novice
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Kinky sex has gained a lot of popularity in the last five years. What was perceived to be as creepy and taboo in the past, is now embraced as the new intense way to spice up your sex life. Pop culture played a huge role in introducing this massive shift, where blindfolds and casual spanks in the bedroom aren’t seeming too farfetched. If you’re into giving that sort of thing a try, this article was meant for you. All the best, and be safe!