51 Things to Talk About to a Girl You Know but is Not Close

Conversation starters to someone you know and want to know her better

By Sylvia Epie
51 Things to Talk About to a Girl You Know but is Not Close

How to Talk To a Girl You Like

Conversation in itself is an art that takes practice and confidence, holding up a proper conversation in any context is a skill and when it comes to someone you have a crush on it becomes even more difficult. You could be considered a smooth talker by your family and friends but when you meet a girl you like all your suave flies out the window,  especially as you want to impress her and ask her out.

Rest assured you’re not alone, lots of guys struggle with this every day, to help you master this crucial skill, we’ve compiled a list of things to talk to a girl about to get her to open up to you and shape her initial view of you without overdoing it or sending her running away scared in the opposite direction. Here we go :

Things to say to get to know your crush better

1. Talk about yourself

The easiest way to get someone to open up is to talk about yourself. Saying something personal about yourself builds trust and prompts the other person to reveal something as well. Talk to her about your interests, hobbies, experiences, etc. Just make sure you don’t overdo it or spend hours talking about yourself and bragging about your accomplishments, that will definitely come across as conceited.

2. Her hobbies

Our hobbies are a part of who we are and reveal aspects of our personality. If a person loves reading and watching movies, you can tell they’re calm and love to stay indoors as compared to a person who is into hiking or race car driving. Talking about hobbies could also help you prepare for your first date and you might even find out you both share the same interests.

3. Family

Find out if she has siblings, her relationship with them and her parents, there’s no better topic than family when you want to get to know someone. Given each family is unique, you can uncover a lot by knowing a person's family history.

4. What she’s passionate about

Use this opportunity to find out what lights her up, everyone comes alive when talking about the things they’re passionate about. It could be pets, causes, sports, travel, fashion, etc. And if by chance you’re both passionate about the same thing ...alleluia...

5.Her day

Ask her about her day to kickstart the conversation, what she did, and her plans for the rest of the day. Give her an opportunity to talk about her work/school and the things that stood out for her that day. And if you’re smooth enough you can slide in an invitation for her to spend some time or the rest of the day with you.

6. Your surroundings

Use where you are to get what you want, why go far when your surroundings are enough inspiration to get you started. Unless you are in a WW2 bunker with whitewashed walls there’s always something around you can improvise on. Be it nature, trees, people or cars, get creative but try as much as possible to stay away from boring cliches such as the weather.

7. Music

Is there a person who doesn’t like music? Well, probably somewhere in the world but I bet you she’s not that person. Talk to her about music, her tastes, what she thinks of trending music, what she grew up listening to, concerts she’s attended, anything music-related. You can’t go wrong with music.

8. Experiences (Hers and Yours)

Talk about the things you’ve done, from your past adventures, jobs, vacations to other interesting things that have shaped you as a person. It will help her get to know you and prompt her to share some of her most exciting experiences with you. 

9. Places to hang out

If you both live in the same city, compare notes on your favorite hangouts, places you love to go to, and how they make you feel; restaurants, clubs, parks, cinemas, museums, etc. This will also serve as valuable info when planning future dates.

10. Dreams and goals

Our dreams and goals shape our lives as much as our experiences, so ask her about her dreams and goals, her plans for the future but please keep it light and please! stay away from the phrase “Where do you see yourself in five years?”. It’s not a job interview.

11. Vacations

Talk about where she’s been on past vacations and where she’d like to go, her best vacation spots, her ideal vacation and don’t forget to talk about yours as well, remember it’s a conversation, not an interrogation.

12. Future plans

Get to know the things she’s looking forward to and if you two are on the same page, this will reveal if she’s focussed on her next promotion, on going to college or grad school, a trip to Europe or her next business venture. It will give you a glimpse of where her life is headed and if there’s room for a relationship.

13. Share childhood memories

Most people enjoy talking about fond childhood memories, all the nostalgia it brings is a great way to bond with a girl. Encourage her to share some of her most hilarious childhood escapades with you, it’s not a deep topic so it will most likely lighten the mood and make you both laugh.

14. Your Principles and values

Sounds deep I know, but talking about your values and principles is a good starting point because it can help you connect with each other on a deeper and spiritual level especially if you share the same values.

15. Conspiracy theories

Like it or not we all have one or two conspiracy theories we adhere to, it might be aliens, ghosts, area 53, spaceships, and UFOs, it doesn’t matter. Take a bold step and share yours with her, you might end up being surprised at just what your crush believes in.

16. Habits

She might not be ready to open up about her bad habits just yet but you can talk to her about good habits you’d like to start, like going to the gym more often, eating healthy, meditating or habits you’ve broken in the past such as smoking or eating ice-cream in the middle of the night.

17. Children

If either of you has any children, it’s a good way to begin a conversation, you could both share tips on parenting and talk about your experience as parents.

18. Her worst date ever

So that you know what not to do and it lets her know what your intentions are.

19. Tattoos and piercings

Another good point of discussion is if she has any tattoos or piercings, and what they mean.

20. Her fantasies

Not necessarily fantasies of a sexual order but fantasies about her dream car, house, jewelry, or lifestyle.

Topics to Talk About Over Text or Phone

21. Jokes

When you’re still getting to know someone, phone conversations can be awkward and plagued with long periods of silence. To ease the discomfort, crack jokes, be a little goofy and don’t be afraid to sound cheesy, girls like a guy with a good sense of humor but please stay away from dirty jokes and keep it PG. 

22. Education/Career

You could strike up a conversation about your current careers or education if you’re students. Previous education or career paths are also a good place to start getting acquainted with each other.

23. Her secrets

It might be too early for her to tell you all her deepest secrets but it will create a fun atmosphere if you get her to tell you something about her that many people don’t know. It builds intimacy and is a good foundation for a future relationship. Also, remember to share a secret or two of yours so she doesn’t feel left out.

24. Travel 

Talk about where she’s been, where she wants to go in the future and try to find out if you have places in common you’d like to visit. Maybe there’s a romantic trip to Paris down the road for you two.

25. Pet peeves

This gives you an insight into what you shouldn’t be doing if you don’t want to piss her off. It’s always a good place to begin getting to know a person.

26. Naughty stories

Phone conversations with a girl are good to bring up topics you might be shy bringing up face to face. Use this opportunity to get her to relax, laugh, and open up with naughty stories, nothing too steamy, just naughty, and funny anecdotes.

27. Her phobias

Talk about the things she is scared of such as spiders, heights, open or confined spaces. This can also be useful in case you were planning on taking her skydiving on your next date.

28. Her favorite foods

Get to know if she’s onto Thai, Chinese or Italian cuisine, ask about her favorite dish, and some of the strangest things she’s eaten. Talking about food will stimulate her taste buds and bring up feelings and sensations that will put her in a good mood.

29. Friends

Talk to her about her friends, what they’re like and the things they do together, this will give you a glimpse of her inner circle and the company she keeps.

30. Special talents and skills

What are some of her unique talents and special skills, can she kiss her elbow or joggle, what are the things she’s naturally good at and which skills would she like to learn?

Things to Say to Keep the Conversation Going

31. Compliment her

Use this opportunity to compliment her on her smile, her beautiful eyes, her long hair, ask what she does to stay in such good shape. Talk about your admiration for something she does or has.

32. How she makes you feel

Tell her how she makes you feel, how you feel when you’re together, it doesn’t have to be all deep and theatrical, just say something in passing about how you enjoy spending time with her for example. 

33. Pets and animals

This one is pretty obvious, talk about your dog or cat if you have any or a pet you had in your childhood. Pets are cute so they always have girls gushing all over the place.

34. Sports

Yes, girls too are into sports! You’d be surprised how many girls enjoy sports out there and I don’t mean ice-skating or tennis. She could be into football, soccer, basketball, race cars, or skating you never know until you bring up the conversation.

35. The news

There’s always something on the news you can bring up, some current trends or something strange or hilarious in the local news.

36. Books

She’s either into books or not, asks about her favorite book or genre of literature, if she enjoys reading it will be a good topic to discuss further. If she doesn’t you can always move on to something else. 

37. Social media

Who isn’t on social media these days? Talk to her about the different social media platforms she’s on, the people she follows, interesting Apps she uses, and even viral content you’ve come across lately.

38. Accomplishments

What accomplishment is she most proud of? The trophies she’s won growing up and throughout her life, things she’d like to accomplish in the future.

39. Fashion

Find out her take on fashion, whether she follows fashion trends and if there are trends she’s planning on trying and the ones she’ll never try.

40. Personal struggles

The things she stresses about, how she handles them and her go-to ways to relieve stress on a daily basis. Disabilities and limitations and how she overcomes them.

Things to Talk About at Night

41. Talk about dating

If it seems like she’s digging your vibe,  ask about her take on relationships and dating without getting too personal. Feel out if she’s single and interested in you without asking directly.

42. Movies and art

Bring up your favorite movie or TV show and inquire about hers, this topic is on the lighter side so it is always a good way to get her to open up. Talk about any form of art you like theatre, dance, painting, etc.

43. The craziest thing she has ever done

To show your fun side and discover hers, ask about some of the craziest things she’s done or would like to do. This will let you have a feel for her wild side.

44. Her naughty sexual experiences

This one may seem too much but if she’s not shy and is comfortable with you she could actually open up and tell you truth or two about her bedroom escapades.

45. Past relationships

You can also discuss past relationships, previous partners, and how they have shaped your present outlook on relationships.

46. What she likes in a guy

Find out from the start the things she’s looking for in a guy, what she considers a deal breaker and if you fit the bill, you can proceed confidently.

47. Her most embarrassing moments

A topic that makes her vulnerable such as this is always tricky but it allows you to show your protective side and also come across as vulnerable too.

48. The things she likes in bed

This is a bit intimate but girls find it sexy when a guy is direct and open to listening to what they want.  The thought alone of getting intimate can open her up to talk about her likes and dislikes in the bedroom.

49. Talk about your ideal date

This Topic is flirty and it helps you find out what she likes to do on a night out, what her idea of fun is and it’s good for future reference.

50. Her thoughts on love

It’s good to know from the onset what your girl thinks when it comes to love if she believes in love or not, her love language, and the things she’s willing to do for love.

51. Listen

An important part of striking a conversation with a girl you like is listening, it goes hand in hand with talking, so make sure she has all your attention when she’s pouring out her heart to you. This is bound to get you extra points as she’ll see you as a great listener.

Related Article: Top 30 First Date Ideas Guaranteed to Win Her Heart
Top 30 First Date Ideas Guaranteed to Win Her Heart

Are you finding it hard to plan for that big date? Let these 30 ideas help you have the best first date possible with your dream girl.


With so many great things to talk to a girl about, you should also know that there are hot topics you shouldn’t bring up, nothing spoils a good conversation like the mention of religion and politics. You are better off staying clear of such topics. Also, try not to push your limits, if she’s not willing to talk about something don’t push it. With that in mind as long as you are polite, respectful, and follow her social cues, you’re good to go.