How To Find Out My Sexuality? Gay, Lesbian or Bi?

You are not alone in being confused on your preferred sexuality

By Michele
How To Find Out My Sexuality? Gay, Lesbian or Bi?

Sexuality is something very personal and sometimes it can get very difficult to determine your inclination. One of the most important reasons is that people are not confident when it comes to discussing their sexual preferences. They are afraid of the backlash that they will face due to their family, friends or society.

In this article, I am going to help you out determine your sexuality so that you are left with no confusion. It can get frustrating if you are unable to figure out our preferences. Trust me, it is a burden that your mind carries everywhere and it can cause a lot of emotional damage. Do not worry; I will help you understand your sexual feelings so that you have a clear idea of your sexual desirability.

Keep in mind that having sex and feeling emotionally connected with someone are two different things. So let’s see what you need to do How To Find Out My Sexuality? Gay, Lesbian Or Bi?

The Complicated World of Sexuality

There are a couple of different types of sexual preferences. In short, the term sexual preference is itself quite complicated but don’t worry, you will for sure figure it out soon how to determine what's right for you. 

What you need to understand here is that we are all different from each other and hence our sexuality is also different. There are many people, who are attracted to one sex only while on the other hand, there is a good deal of people having a preference for both the sexes. Let's have a look at some important identities, orientations, and preferences.

What Is Gender Identity?

Gender identity is all about defining your identity that best describes your body. Let’s have a look at the different gender identities that define a person


The nonbinary gender stands outside the male and female binary.


The gender-fluid identity is highly variable and can easily shift from one identity to another.


The transgender identity is opposite from the biological sex that a newborn is assigned at the time of birth.


The cisgender identity is in relevance to the biological sex that is assigned at the time of birth.

What Is Sexual Orientation?

Sexual orientation is all about the feelings or emotions that you experience with different genders. Let’s see how people are defined according to their sexual orientation.


A sexual person doesn't develop an emotional or sexual attraction towards any gender.


A pansexual person is sexually attracted to any person and the gender doesn't matter at all. They are also known as pansexual.


A bisexual person can sexually feel attracted to the same sex or only one any other sex.


A lesbian is identified as a woman, who feels sexually attracted to other women.


A gay is identified as a man, who feels sexually attracted to other men.


A heterosexual person is sexually attracted to only a person belonging to the opposite sex according to the gender binary.

What Are Sexual Preferences?

Sexual preferences can be described as episodes of sexual attraction that are regardless of any gender. Let’s have a look at the different forms of sexual preferences.


A polyamorous person can experience multiple romantic or sexual experiences at one time.


A sapiosexual person feels attracted to only those people, who are intelligent.


A demisexual person doesn’t develop any sort of sexual attraction before developing a strong emotional bond with the other person.


An autosexual person prefers self-pleasureover any sort of sexual activity with anyone else.


A graysexual person rarely experiences sexual attraction towards others.

I hope that now you are well aware of the different genders, sexual orientations, and sexual preferences. So, I leave it on you to decide where do you settle the best. I hope that you are not a hermit. There are a few categories that have left me wondering like, ‘do asexual even have a life’? Well no offense, it is your life you have the helm of it. Live it the way that it makes you feel happy and pleased. No one can dictate the rules.

How to Identify With One When You Are Unsure

So you are going through that moment when you are questioning your sexual preference. In the beginning, it gets quite difficult to get a grab of it and as a result, there is nothing much that you can do about it. Just stay calm and let things go with the flow. 

Step 1:

First of all, what you need to do is take time and let your feelings and emotions unfold. Observe what your feelings mean and how you can identify them. The possibilities are endless. Just do not quit exploring but you can take a break. Go through the sexual experiences of different people, who took time to discover their sexual preferences and finally managed to get a grab of their sexual commotion.

Step 2:

Secondly, do not rush things. Sexuality has multiple feelings and you need to go through different experiences to determine what your mind, heart, and soul crave. It is not a simple thing. Give it time and different encounters will help you determine your sexuality. There are several blogs, videos, and books that consist of real-life experiences of the LGBTQIA+ people – do read and see them.

Step 3:

Thirdly, understand your personality and the manner how it is connected with your sexual preferences. It is all interlinked. Above everything, you are a wonderful, amazing and unique human and your sexual diversity further add beauty to your existence. So being different is exciting. It might take a few days or weeks or even months to get that special feel – yeah that’s right for me and I love it.

Can Your Sexuality Change?

Well yes! Your sexuality can change. Isn't it amazing how our emotions shape our preferences and we go through different experiences? It doesn't happen overnight. It takes time to switch. There can be some events related to this transition or any other emotional factor associated with it. The process of learning your sexual preferences doesn’t ever come to a halt. You learn something new with a person, whom you are sexually linked with.

There is nothing bad about that. It is your life and you need to decide what is best for you. And do not ever make yourself feel bad about your sexual inclination. Be confident about your preferences and do not complicate things by having some sort of guilt. Label yourself, as a loving human, as you continue to learn more about yourself. There is no stopping to it.

What Is My Sexuality Quizzes

I hope that this read has helped you out. Hang in there, I have a few interesting and meaningful quizzes, related to sexual preference, that will further help you out. Do try them and see what the results say. Taking a quiz after reading what I have put forward for you in this article, it will help in answering questions with clarity that you were not familiar with before.


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Sexuality, a few years ago, was a very sensitive topic as a few people and groups were quite insensitive to the people who had unique sexual preferences. But now the acceptance and tolerance for sexual diversity have somewhat developed, especially in the first world countries. Several LGBTQ groups support people by helping them with their matters of sexuality.

If you have any sort of anxiety or stress related to your newly discovered sexual preferences then you must discuss with any of the gender support groups. They will not only help you out emotionally but also help you in coming out and living a confident life. It is all about developing confidence related to your sexuality so that it does not affect your mental stability and personal confidence.

No person has the right to judge you or consider you unworthy due to your unique sexuality. It is all about how you carry your sexuality and stay confident. You might come across a few unwanted comments and reactions but this is the time when you stay strong and decide what the best for your life is. So go ahead live it up and make it colorful!