9 Signs That You Want a Platonic Relationship but He Does Not

Find out the signs and should you go beyond a platonic love?

By Fred S.
9 Signs That You Want a Platonic Relationship but He Does Not

Platonic love vs. Romantic Love

Love comes in many colors and forms. It is the year 2020, which means that we are already at the start of a brand new decade. Do you know what that means? It signifies an era of a broader perspective of relationships. The world no longer is divided into black and white, there are now a million different shades between these two extremes and we enjoy the diversity.

Unlike old times when two opposite genders could be nothing more than lovers, our current view about relationships happens to be a whole lot different. Regardless of your sexual orientation, you cannot just paint the bond between two different people as love if they are close to one another.

Romantic love

Romantic love is thought of as the kind of affection that goes beyond friendship and has a sexual element to it. When you hug your romantic partner, you want to feel every inch of their body in a way that lights up a fire in you that dies only when the deed is done. Nothing you do is bereft from romance and you want to touch them in a manner as no friend would. Also, this ilk of relationship involves the hue of possessiveness. Seeing your beau spending time with someone else or giving the same importance as they bestow you with can make you green with envy.

Platonic love

On the other hand, platonic love is nothing like its romantic counterpart. It is, in fact, entirely devoid of any fantasies about having sex with the person you share a platonic relationship with. It is pure in the sense that it is thoroughly based on companionship and non-sexual intimacy. You are allowed to hug, cuddle into one another and caress when the need is without feeling the butterflies that you sense when you are in a romantic relationship. Friends, coworkers, cousins, etc. are some of the people in your life with whom you can share a platonic partnership. Jealousy is completely non-existent, so is lust.

Signs of Platonic Love

1. There is nothing to hide

One of the biggest telltale signs of platonic relationships is the lack of secrecy between you and your partner. Romantic bonds involve the peril of losing someone you want to spend your life with. To make sure that nothing damages it, you might have to filter out your thoughts very often in a romantic relationship and pick your words very wisely.

This is not the case when you are platonically involved with someone. Here, you can be yourself and enjoy greater freedom of expression as you have nothing too crucial to lose. Your partner is your friend and your cheerleader in this case; they ought to know the weaker parts of who you are to be able to sustain the rapport.

2. No trespassing

Platonic love does not involve any sense of monopoly and ownership. You are the master of your own life and can make your decisions without having to include your platonic partner. The pre-defined limits are thoroughly respected and no one attempts to cross the line no matter how desperate the situation is.

3. No expectations

There are little to no heavy expectations from one another. If you want to spend time with someone else instead of joining them for beer, that is not a problem. No unrealistic hopes are pinned on to an unforeseen future and there are certainly no strings attached. This is not the case when you share a romantic relationship with someone. Irrespective of what it takes, you have to show up on the decided date and venue or else a rather avoidable diatribe will ensue.

You can go wherever you wish and do whatever you like in a platonic relationship without your partner acting as a barricade en route to your dreams.

9 Signs of Non-platonic Love He is Showing

Are you unsure of the nature of your relationship with that special someone who you like, but not romantically? Do you want to know if you should stay in touch with them if they prefer to have something more than just being in a platonic relationship with you? Here are 9 danger signs that might exhibit his alacrity to stop being just friends:

1. He is jealous

It is a girls’ day out and you are about to cherish the best shopping spree of your life, but your phone keeps buzzing with messages from none other than “him”. This is abnormal behavior right there especially if you had already shared with him your plans for the day. If he keeps nagging you or gets upset when you spend time with your female friends, then you are in big trouble. All the signs by this time should read RUN if you thought it was just platonic or intended to keep it as such.

2. He dislikes your male friends without a reason

Your male friends have recently become an important topic of discussion between you two. Even if they are the people of the mutual group you hang out with regularly, he just recently seems to have developed some unexplained animosity against them. He picks on their habits like never before and keeps instigating you against them. This shows that he wants you only for himself and is afraid of losing you to someone else.

3. The frequency of your conversations has increased a lot!

Unlike the earlier times when you two might chat once or twice in a week, he recently has started calling you or messaging you multiple times in a day. It can be for very menial tasks or might constitute random questions so that he can somehow keep the conversation running. Increased phone communication just goes on to prove your suspicions that he wants to be more than just a friend to you.

4. He takes random pictures of you

You are looking away in a distance, immersed in your pool of thoughts when click goes the phone camera. Alarmed, you look to find only him taking a rather out-of-the-blue picture of you. It does happen in a platonic relationship too, but if it has been going on in a way that it has become excessive and borderline irritating, then you should reconsider the image you might have had in your mind about him. He wants to love you romantically and he is not playing anymore.

5. His interest in your life and its events is sincere but non-platonic

Suddenly, your past has become a crucial area for him. He keeps asking you questions about your ex-boyfriends and family members to try to know you better. Maybe, he thinks that knowing you better will grant him leverage over you and he might be able to address your hurt if you had any. This is a dangerous sign considering that you want nothing more than a platonic relationship with him because he certainly has other plans that you may not like.

6. He gets “handsy” every chance he gets!

Recently, he has been holding your back in the queue a bit tighter than usual and misses no opportunity to have a feel of your skin. Do you have a necklace to untie but no help in sight except him? He rushes to grab the chance and caresses the back of your nape in a way that is not entirely inappropriate but is more sensual than it used to be when you were sure that what you two shared was only friendship.

7. He asks you out for rom-com premiers and movie nights

Movies might have already been an important part of the routine you two shared since you first became friends, but recently, all the movies you have ever watched with him are romantic. There has not been even an accidental array of an action movie or comedy, just heartfelt rom-com to make a point. This is a pattern that you should start noticing if you have been unaware up till now.

8. Your hang-outs are turning into dine-ins for two

If you two were part of a clique, you might feel like it has not been the case as of late. He comes up with new and plausible excuses to take you out for meals all alone. The rest of your group mates might be in on it.

9. He does everything you ask or wish for

Have you randomly mentioned wanting a bag that you saw a few days ago in the mall and gotten it as a present from him later? This proves that he notices every detail of your speech and wants to flatter you by fulfilling all your wishes. It would not seem so out of place if it were your boyfriend doing it, but having a friend do it for you so often might show that he wants to continue as a lover with you.

Should You Romantically Love Him Back?

There is nothing wrong with friends falling in love with one another. This happens all the time and most of these couples are one of the happiest pairs on planet earth.

If you are single and know the person inside-out, then it would be great if you can reciprocate his feelings. In the end, it all comes down to what you want. If you see them as a friend and a platonic relationship is the only way you two can be with one another, then you need to clarify things to him before it is too late. Some people might even terminate their lifelong friendships over troubles like these.

It does not matter if you are in a romantic relationship with them or a platonic one, honesty and unfiltered communication are the key to keep things going. Come clear to them about what you want as early as possible.

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Love is not pre-defined and most of us don’t get to choose who we fall for. All we can do is be upright in all of our relationships. If you notice that your friend has been acting more like a lover lately and all signs depict the birth of a romantic relationship instead of a platonic one, then it is better that you talk to them about it before irreparable damage is done.

No one likes to get hurt and as a friend, you do not want them to feel any emotional pain that may stem from you misreading the symbols. So, make things crystal clear the first chance you notice things taking a different turn to save everyone from a whole lot of agony.