Women have been perceived to be expressive about how they feel as they can communicate what they want in a relationship rather comfortably. Whereas men are often shy about their feelings, this is often to avoid being too expressive and to keep their softer side from exposing to others around them.
But this lack of communication from the men’s side can become a very difficult obstacle in a couple’s sex life. If your man is not ready to communicate what he wants, it can become difficult to keep guessing what will keep him going in bed! Here are a few things that your man wants you to do or not to do. This guide could help you improve your love life quite a lot, so keep reading!
The irony of why man won't ask for what he want in bed
Isn’t it ironic that men forever have been teasing women about being too expressive about everything they feel and therefore end up bottling up their own emotions to not appear too needy or vulnerable to the world? It's even worse than men think they need to keep what they want in bed a secret, and just hope that one day women will realize what men have been looking for, instead of just openly communicating. It's essential that men feel comfortable in communicating what they desire from their partners.
What Not to Do in Bed
1. Don’t be shy about your own fantasies
Men get turned on by the thought that their women think of them in ways that could be both different than usual, and sometimes even forbidden! He would love to know what are the things that make you lose your mind, just by thinking of them. Make sure to never shy away from your own fantasies, if you want him to share his. Let him know how just the thought of him touching you several places makes you wet, or how you love certain types of foreplay.
2. Don’t fake things
In bed, a man’s excitement stays up with your feedback, as to how you respond to his touch, the way his skin rubs against yours, how much you enjoy his lingering lips or fingers on your skin. Never fake any of these reactions in bed, especially never fake an orgasm! Men will somehow find out, and it makes them insecure and hurt.
3. Don’t be critical
Do not be too critical of him. It's understandable if you feel a little less satisfied with him than you might have with some other partner that you had in the past. But never go over the line and compare him to someone else, even if he asks. Do not at any cost, let him know that his dick wasn’t enough for you, or compare it to someone else’s. Make sure you reaffirm him, tell him you love how he uses it, and the feeling of it rubbing against you makes your eyes roll back - men love that.
4. Don’t become distracted
Do not get distracted by your phone constantly making noises from the texts that you receive, or do not start talking about things here and there. Men often take that as a sign of boredom and disinterest. Make sure you aren’t the one making him feel that way.
8 Things Guys Like but Won't Ask For
1. Being the Little Spoon
As discussed earlier, men find it difficult to express emotions, and therefore it is your responsibility to make sure your man is comfortable enough to ask for the little emotional things in bed that you might somehow surpass, just because he has never mentioned that before. One of these things includes being held.
Why is he the only one who has to hold you and make you feel wanted and loved after you’ve had sex? Sometimes he wants you to hold him, but he will never ask for it because it might make him look vulnerable, and men usually avoid being so expressive.
2. Being bossed around
How many times have you two been in bed, and he has made you his subject while conquering you? How many times has he made you do things, with sudden passion and force that has made you feel both a little offended but also extremely turned on? He enjoys using his force on you, but there is one thing that he enjoys more, but will never tell you, is that he wants you to boss him around too. Sounds weird, right? Men usually like taking powerful places in your life, but the truth is, sometimes he wants you to use bondage on him, and tell him what to do, and punish him for not listening. It makes him harder, and want you even more.
3. Being teased
As much as you think you are frustrating him, he is enjoying the tease, always. Men love being teased, but they do not want you knowing this from them. They want you to figure it out yourself. Don’t you think it would be fun even for you when you walk around the house, and intentionally brush your hand against his crotch, giving him a hard-on, or if you lean in close enough for him to steal a sneak peek down your top? Find opportunities for when he's standing behind you to brush your butt against his cock. Imagine the excitement you will build up between you two even before you hit the bed!
As much as men love pure penetrative sex, they sometimes want to be treated with certain things that you usually miss out in the heat of the moment. Men love hand-jobs, they'd love for you to reach out and grab them with entitlement, just to give them the pleasure. To spice things up when you do this, try waking him up with a hand-job. Let him know you wanted him mid-sleep. Make sure you kiss him while you give him a hand-job, do not stop until he has an orgasm and let him do other things. If he wants to caress your breasts or grab your butt, let him. Make this about him, let him feel special.
5. You initiating sex
If you look at sex in movies and the literature we read, we have often seen men being the ones that make the first move when they want to indulge in "sexy time" with their partners. However this taboo should be broken, because men love women who are expressive enough to reach out to men before they have to. It's often a surprise when women show signs of wanting to have sex, and not to mention, it's a huge turn-on. So, you could try this with your man, it would surprise him in a sexually awesome way.
Look for him when he is busy, and make sure to let him know how much you want him in that exact moment, try to invade his space. Do this effectively by dressing provocatively, whisper what you ought to be doing to him, and see the magic work. If the mood's right, you could just be bold and climb on top of him, slowly rubbing against his dick, you'll honestly not believe how well this could work.
6. Direct communication
Even though it is usually thought that men do not want to communicate too much when it’s about sex, and they are all about getting the deed done, however, this perception has been proven wrong time and again. Instead, men appreciate when you communicate with them what you want in bed, and what you don’t like. When you easily communicate your fantasies and worries to him, he feels free to communicate with you as well. When men speak up, you can easily do what he likes, and make sure he’s happy.
7. Your orgasm
Women have often rumored to have been good at faking orgasms during sex, in order to make their partner feel more comfortable and secure. However, it is highly recommended that you must be extremely honest with your feeling in bed, especially about your orgasm. It is okay if you cannot climax with your partner, you could specify what you need him to do to cum for him. If you do not know, you could explore different things together to make sure that it is an experience worth remembering for both of you. He wants you to enjoy it even more than he does himself, there's something about that feeling of fulfillment that satisfies men.
The last thing on the list of things that men want you to do is to be confident around them. This thought pertains both to your sexual actions – he wants you to be comfortable and extremely confident with how you hold him, and touch him; he also wants you to be confident with how he touches you – and to how you are around him, he wants you to find comfort in his presence and show him that you are confident being around him, and with his sexual advances towards you.
How to Ask your Man What's on His Mind
Asking a man what is on his mind isn’t the easiest thing to do in the world, and therefore it can be tricky at times, but you could always use certain ways to make sure that he communicates with you enough to let you know what he is comfortable with and what more you could do to make sure he gets the best experience with the two of you being together.
The key to making a man comfortable enough to talk is to make sure that you talk to him first if you tell him your worries, and your ideas, he will be comfortable in letting you know his point of view as well. Do not push him too much, for becoming too pushy could make him pull further back than usual.
It can often become very challenging to find out what a man wants in bed, especially when they have made it a rule to not express themselves in a relationship, however, there are a few tips listed in this article in great detail that most men want in their sex life. You could try these things, and modify them as you go, to give your partner the experience of a lifetime every time you are in bed together!