15 Signs You Are Not Ready For A Relationship
The idea of being in a relationship may seem awesome. But are you really ready for it? Here are 15 signs that you're not.
Jul 24, 2018
1. You're Not Ready To Move On From Your Ex
This is perhaps the biggest sign that you are not ready for another relationship. Starting a relationship while you are still hung up on your ex can cause problems for many reasons. One is that you may just be dating other guys to distract yourself or to make your ex jealous. You will not be able to form a true connection with a new partner if this is the case. Second, until you are over your ex you will probably still be idealizing him and looking for the same qualities he had in someone else. It didn't work with your ex for a reason, so this is not the best way to start your search for a new love. Do yourself and favor and make sure you have come to terms with your last relationship before embarking a new one. Make sure you are emotionally ready to love and be loved by someone else. Getting over a breakup is hard, but necessary if you ever want to find the right person for you.
Missing your ex is a sure sign you are not ready for another relationship
2. You Have Trust Issues
This is especially important if your last relationship ended badly due to cheating or some form of abuse. Although you may be over your ex, you are probably not ready to get over the horrible things he put you through. Relationships are all about trust. Being cheated on or misused by someone you love really sucks, but in order to experience true love again, you have to forgive and move on from what happened to you in the past. Some signs that you may have trust issues are that you constantly check your boyfriend or girlfriend's texts or Facebook messages, interrogate them about where they have been or who they've been with or don't trust them to go anywhere without you in tow. Having trust issues is not healthy and will prevent you from entering into a successful relationship with someone else. So, learn to let go of the past and don't start dating again until you are finally ready to trust someone new.
3. All Your Past Relationships Have Been The Same
If you find yourself dating the same sort of person over and over again, chances are you are not ready to be serious about dating. Dating someone who is similar in qualities or appearance to your past relationship may seem comfortable, but as stated before, there is a reason why that relationship ended. Maybe he doesn't pay enough attention to you or always has his guy friends over. Whatever it is, if you find yourself in the same old situation that you have always been in with a guy, then you need to take a step back and redefine what you want in a relationship and exactly what you are looking for in a guy. When you're ready, take chances going on a date with someone who may not seem like your type or who is interested in things your ex never was. The worst thing that will happen is you may make some new friends and establish new interests along the way.
4. You Have Never Spent Time Being Single
Have you been bouncing from relationship to relationship without even taking a minute to focus on yourself and be single for a change? Does the thought of doing anything alone absolutely frighten you? These are some of the biggest signs that you are not emotionally ready for a serious relationship. In order to truly be there for someone else, you need to know how to be there for yourself first. No excuses. Going from relationship to relationship without taking a moment to breathe in between indicates that you are entering a relationship not to find true love, but just to fill the void of having someone conveniently around all the time. This also may indicate that you do not have enough friends of the same sex to talk to or occupy your time with. Take time to get to know and love yourself and trust me, when you're good and ready your next relationship will be the best yet!
You'll never be ready for a good relationship until you learn to love yourself first
5. You Are Not Happy With Your Own Life
If you are unhappy you cannot expect to make someone else happy. In fact, what you will probably do is just drag them down into your misery with you. No one likes that and it will probably cause your relationship to end. Waiting for a great guy to come along and expecting that he will be the one to bring you happiness is a mistake. What happens when you enter a relationship as an unhappy person is that you expect the guy to provide the happiness you are lacking for you. This is a lot to ask of someone. The result is that he will most likely not live up to your expectations and you will get on his nerves by being needy and miserable. So, if you are unhappy with your life, taking steps to find happiness on your own will ensure that when you are ready to find love, you find the right match for you.
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6. You Try To Change Your Significant Other
Another one of the signs you're not ready for a relationship is that you are constantly trying to change your partner. Being in a healthy relationship is about you and your boyfriend or girlfriend accepting each other for who you both are. When you try to change someone, what you are saying is that they need to be better or different in some way in order for the relationship to work. After a while of this, any sane person will become emotionally detached and a breakup is inevitable.
7. You Are Not Willing To Compromise
If everything has to be your way or the highway, then guess what - you are definitely not ready to be in a relationship. Everyone knows that relationships are all about compromise. So if you think you're going to enter any relationship expecting to call all the shots and get your way all the time, then you better be prepared to have a wet mop for a boyfriend that you end up eventually resenting.
8. You Look For Superficial Qualities In a Partner
Dating someone just because they have money, a car, a great body or gorgeous looks, without actually liking them for who they are inside, is a serious indicator that you are not ready for a relationship. Relationships based on superficial desires like these will always end in a breakup because you really have to care for someone in order to tolerate being around them day in and day out. It may seem great at first, but soon the bickering and fights will begin because your relationship was never based on something real.
9. You Lose Your Individuality In Every Relationship
Do you find yourself often entering a new relationship, only to ditch your old friends and crew and become totally absorbed in the new guy's entire life? This too is one of the sure fire signs that you are not ready for a mature and lasting relationship. In a good relationship there should be a healthy mix of time spent both with your love and with your own family and friends. You should never totally immerse yourself in your boyfriend or girlfriend's life and forget about your own. This is seriously emotionally unhealthy. For one thing, your guy will soon get bored of you and wonder what you even bring to the relationship. For another, your friends and family will be hurt that you left them so quick in the dust for some guy you barely even know.
10. You Are Not Comfortable In Your Own Skin
If you are not confident about yourself, you will never attract a guy truly worth catching. What you will end up with is a bunch of losers who don't value themselves either.
11. You Have Walls Up
In order to be in love, you have to be vulnerable. This means you cannot have walls up constantly that prevent your partner from coming in and truly getting to know you. Communication is essential in order for any good relationship to succeed.
12. You Don't Know What You Want In Life
If you don't know what you want in life and you go into a relationship with that as the premise, there is a good chance that when you do figure it out, your dreams and goals will not match with his and the relationship will end in disaster. By already knowing what you want out of life ahead of time, you can make sure your intentions align with your partner's and work together to build the kind of life you both want.
13. You Are Desparate
If you will take any guy that crosses your path, leaving a string of flings and one-night stands behind you, then you are probably desperate and definitely not ready for a steady relationship. Have some respect for yourself and start all relationships slow so that you can truly get to know the person before becoming committed or giving them the goods.
14. You Let Yourself Get Walked On
If you're the type of person that lets yourself get walked all over in a relationship, just so that you can continue to be in one, then you are not truly ready for one. When someone treats you badly and you make excuses for them, this tells them that you have low self-esteem and that they can exploit and manipulate you to do whatever they want you to. There is no excuse for someone treating you poorly, so if you find yourself in this situation, get out as fast as you can.
15. You Want To Have Your Cake And Eat It Too
If you want a girlfriend or boyfriend but also want to be able to have fun with other so-called "friends" on the side too, do your future partner a favor and just have fun instead. You're not ready for a serious relationship. There is no excuse for hurting someone else by getting into a relationship with them if what you really want is to flirt and mingle with everyone. Get that out of your system first and then you will be ready look for something more serious.
The Bottom Line On Being Ready For A Relationship
If you think you are ready for love and want to find a great and lasting relationship, make sure you don't fall into any of these signs mentioned above. Take some time to get right with yourself before involving yourself with anyone else, and it will help you find more love, happiness and success all around.