Do you feel like you are forcing love on purpose?
Love is something that is always plural. ‘They’ love each other. ‘We’ went on a date. Have dinner with ‘us’ are all examples of phrases you might hear about a couple. What you should understand from such simple information is that when there is love, there is duality – and where there is duality, there is a compromise. However, if you feel like you are one who’s making all the compromises in a relationship, you might want to recheck your relationship status. It’s nice to pleasure your partner but taking it on a selfless level is unhealthy – you deserve happiness and love as much as they do. If you feel like you’re giving bit by bit of yourself to attain a grain’s worth of validation from your partner, you’re likely forcing love – you’re trying to fit in a jigsaw puzzle in a place where it’s not designed to be fitted.
Moreover, if you find yourself making all your plans alone, you might want to reconsider the basic definition of being in a relationship. Before going on, say, a date, half of the fun is sitting down with your partner and deciding the venue for your date. However, if you make such plans on your own (only to find that your partner seldom agrees with your choices) run away as far as you can and don’t look back!
When you give every inch of yourself to someone, you expect some inches of themselves as well. Yet if you find that you are constantly being toyed with – shaped and thrown in every way possible, you might want to consider the fact that perhaps you’re forcing love in a relationship that has no place for it.
15 signs you are destined to be alone
1. Is your ego eating away your happiness?
Some of us believe that our self-worth deserves far more important than our happiness. However, as bitter of a realization, it is, with time, you’ll realize that sometimes one has to let go of their ego to maintain a healthy relationship. After all, what is a relationship without compromises and sacrifices? However, if you find yourself unable to do so – you might want to stay as far away as possible from the thought of ever getting in a relationship.
2. The word ‘ceasefire’ isn’t in your dictionary
As I mentioned before, a relationship simply cannot exist without compromises and sacrifices. However, if you find yourself simply unable to let go of a mistake your partner may have committed, you might consider not ever having a partner. Worse – picture this – you and your partner get into a quarrel – if you’re the type that has a thing for turning arguments into World War III, do yourself a favor and just don’t step on the battlefield.
3. You like things your way
Our individuality makes us who we are – and I agree with the fact that partners should appreciate and respect each other’s uniqueness. However, if you’re one of the types who have no room for change in their life and can’t afford to compromise on certain ways – be it the way you make your bed, the way you fold your towers and the drawer in which you place them or even the level of spice you like in your food, you might want to consider staying away from relationships.
4. “What’s mine isn’t ours”
Not only being possessive of your belongings and way of life is unhealthy in a relationship but keeping secrets and acting selfishly proves that you have no room in your life to accommodate someone else.
5. You think of your benefits before thinking of your partner
If you imagine yourself thinking of your benefits in things like forcing them to buy the kind of things you might find useful or, heck, even convincing them to work on the kind of jobs you think are good for them (when in reality, you just want them to work in a setting that makes you comfortable) – you might want to consider never getting in that hassle, ever.
6. You think that a relationship makes one a robot
If you believe that the core idea of being in a relationship revolves around someone ‘controlling’ you, don’t make the effort of ever getting into one. It’s only natural that when someone cares about you, they make an effort to give you suggestions and advice. However, if you think of that as being controlled, I suggest you refer to your dictionary.
7. You’re a bit too fond of your “me-time”
If you imagine yourself enjoying your “alone” time more than your “together” time with someone, then consider yourself to be alone forever. Not only is it normal, but it’s also healthy to spend some time with yourself, but, if you enjoy being alone way more than having to share your time with someone, don’t bother wasting your precious time.
8. Yours consciously validate your will to be alone
We all like to have a sense of freedom to figure things out on our own – but if you’re one of the types that try to prove that they don’t need anyone, you might want to stop proving and start implementing your self-taught values.
9. You can’t bear the thought of someone taking over the stage with you
Being in a relationship is being in a team and there is no “I” in a team. Hence, you might want to consider your team member's values, suggestions, opinions, and advice. However, if you’re not up for that, you might want to consider staying single.
10. You’re not keen on listening to other people’s problems
I don’t blame you – sometimes we simply don’t have the energy or the time to listen to other people’s dramas. Heck, it would be an achievement itself if we successfully deal with our own stuff. If you find yourself struggling to deal with your problems and don’t have the time or the mental capacity to listen to someone else’s issues, it would be a wise decision to stay single.
11. You tend to be a bit too dominating
If you’re the kind that feels like they should control every aspect of not just their life, but their partner’s as well, you might want to start considering yourself single forever. I hate to break it to you but dominating and controlling people is a bit too difficult to live with.
12. You don’t have room for a company
If you consider yourself an introvert and aren’t a big fan of having company around, never let the thought of getting into a relationship cross your mind. You see, when you share your life with someone, you have to let in not just them, but also the people important to them.
13. You’re afraid you’ll miss out on something better
The fear of missing out is a very real thing in today’s world, thanks to social media. While scrolling through our Instagram feed every day, we see people living their lives, alone. Be that they’re sipping margaritas on an Island in Indonesia or simply being the CEO of a successful business. If you find yourself worried that you might be missing out on something important life has to offer to you, you might want to miss out on a relationship as well.
14. You question your purpose in life
If you find yourself to be philosophical and wonder whether your existence has a greater purpose, you might want to let go of the thought of getting into a relationship. Philosophers spend their entire lives seeking their true calling – who knows? Maybe you will too.
15. You’re shy
If the thought of getting down on your knee shakes the bones inside you – don’t bother yourself of every thinking of getting in a relationship. Being in a relationship demands to be bold, having faith, and being daring. If you find yourself incapable of possessing these attributes, save yourself the burden.
Am I destined to be alone – quizzes!
- Do you care about your appearance?
- Does seeing couples make you sick?
- Are you awkward when meeting people?
- Do you follow celebrity couples?
- Do you think true love can last forever?
If 4 out of 5 is NO, then it's best to not force yourself to be with someone .
Am I destined to be alone – quotes.
“I had already found that it was not good to be alone, and so made companionship with what there was around me, sometimes with the universe and sometimes with my own insignificant self; but my books were always my friends, let fail all else.”
― Joshua Slocum, Sailing Alone around the World
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”
― Gautama Buddha
“if you wanted to do something absolutely onest, something true, it always turned out to be a thing that had to be done alone.”
― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
In today’s social media-centered world, we often tend to ignore our inner strengths and, in a hassle to meet up to society’s demands, follow the bandwagon leading to nowhere. What we need to realize is that prioritizing our own needs and fully understanding ourselves would help us shape the world around us – for the betterment of not only us but the people, we’re connected to as well. Having said that, whilst scrolling through social media feeds and seeing pictures of couples being all lovey-dovey shouldn’t make you think that you lack something in your life. After all, if you feel as content alone as they do together, what difference does it make?